Retention
by glindalovesshoes
Summary: "It had been nearly three months. Three months since their last meeting at the town line of Storybrooke, three months since their last kiss, their last unspoken words, their last touch. Time had gone by, but the pain was still there." Can be seen as an episode tag to 4x19 or a pre-episode tag to 4x20. OutlawQueen/RobinHood.


A/N: Hey everyone! I actually intended to publish this before last night's episode, but for some reasons it was delayed. Sadly I wrote this as some kind of a joke and I didn't think it would really happen. The last 2 minutes of last night's episode broke my heart. Somehow this one here still fits... up to a certain point. It's my first fic in the OUAT fandom and I really hope you enjoy. My heart may be crushed by now as may be the ones of all other OutlawQueen shippers, but I'm sure there is a solution to everything. We just have to hope. This is the only thing which keeps me going right now.

Have fun reading and tell me what you think or how you feel about the episode.

Thanks to waterbaby134 for betaing she's the best!

Retention

It had been three months. Three months since their last meeting at the town line of Storybrooke, four months since their last kiss, their last unspoken words, their last touch. Time had gone by, but the pain was still there. The ache for the other's presence, for the others touch, it still had a hold on him.

New York was a rat hole if he'd ever seen one. Living in Storybrooke had been a huge change for them already with all the _technology_, _electricity,_ the weird clothes, the food and of course the crazy villains who were either trying to kill or curse them. New York was not much better. Of course, there were no villains, but it was dirty, it stunk, and it was loud, oh God it was loud. He'd give anything to be in the silent comfort of the forest now, where he could hear the wind sweeping through the crowns, only disturbed through the singing of a few baby blue birds that were looking for their partner. Little John had told him once these little blue birds mate for life and each tune they carried was a little different from the other. There was only always one male and one female bird that sang the same song and they had to find each other, otherwise they wouldn't be able to mate with anyone else. Each bird had their soul mate, their perfect match, as weird as it may sound. The forest was big, as was the population of the blue birds, but somehow still they all managed to find their counterpart no matter how frustrating and hopeless their situation might seem.

Once upon a time, Robin thought he'd found his perfect match in Marian. They were just like two of these blue birds; made for each other. They had found each other but then lost each other. For a moment, Robin had wondered what one of the blue birds did when its partner died. Would it die too, having lost the love of its life? Or would it live on, maybe somehow changing its song, so another partner would find them?

When Marian had died his whole world had shattered into pieces. The loss of a loved one was already hard to bear, but had been made worse because he'd considered her death as his own fault. A chill ran over his arms when he thought about the moment it had happened. Was this a chance from the universe to redeem himself? To make good? She was dead and gone, leaving him behind with sweet little baby Roland, his only ray of hope at that time. Roland had been his only reason to continue living and not just end it all.

He remembered like it had happened yesterday. He'd been in a haze, cold, numb. People had been trying to talk to him, to comfort him with words and their condolences but Robin had not listened. Only when Friar Tuck grabbed his arm and dragged him into the tent where a woman was sitting and watching over his ten-month-old son, had he started to feel something. Robin had sat down, had pulled the baby boy into his arms and cried. So had Roland even if the little boy had not understood why at that time. For some moments, Robin wondered how Roland had remembered his mother in Granny's diner. He'd been so young and innocent when she'd died.

Back then, Robin would have given anything to bring Marian back from the dead. Anything. Losing her had been the most horrible thing and he'd thought his chance to get a happy ending had passed... until the moment he met Regina. Regina... Just now, when he'd found his luck again, Marian had reappeared. He was incredibly happy she was alive but so much time had passed... He'd changed. Robin of Locksley wasn't the same man he had been before her death all those years ago. Well, to him it seemed like years, to Marian it seemed like only days.

Although he knew going to New York with Marian and bringing Roland along had been the honorable and most of all _right _thing to do, he couldn't stop thinking about how lost he felt in this big city with the strange thing, the strange people, the music and even weirder people called _tourists_. A strange kind of humans who ran around with little magical boxes upon long sticks and stopped in front of every store, every street, held the stick with the box up and smiled. The boxes looked almost like the phone-thingy Regina had given him. _Technology, _as they called it, was a strange thing, scary.

Robin missed his life in the Enchanted Forest, his life in Sherewood Forest and all the other places. He had not longed for it quite as much while he'd been in Storybrooke, but back then he'd been occupied... otherwise.

All his life, Robin had lived by a code. The thing right now washe just wasn't so sure anymore if living by this code was the right thing to do. Not when he had to pretend, not when he wasn't completely sure it was the right thing to do. Gold had advised him to not push his chance of a Happy Ending away like he has done many, many times. His family was reunited, he had the happy ending he'd always wished for, the one he could grasp and hold on to. But it still felt so... unnatural. What were they supposed to do in New York? They did not know anyone, they only had each other. Marian was his wife and he loved her. He always had, his love had never stopped, but spending a lifetime in this big city felt like a curse all over again.

Robin swallowed hard. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. Fate had thrown him a challenge and he now had to try and make the best of it. He'd never believed his vision of a happy ending could change. For Roland, a happy ending it was. He had his mother and his father. Robinliked going out and playing with him in the big park where he felt the closest to the forest and nature as it was possible in New York. As for Marian... Robin didn't really know if this was a happy ending for Marian.

She was happy; she was with him and Roland. Their family was reunited and some great power had prevented her from a cruel death. Instead, she'd been given a change, a chance she'd taken and so had he. He loved her. She was his wife, the mother of his son; of course he loved her. He'd made a choice.

_"No matter where we are or what we face, I'll always wanna be with you_._"_ Robin wanted to be with her, wanted to be happy with her, but for some strange reason he sometimes wondered if she was really still the Marian he'd fallen in love with all those years ago. Only last week, she had snapped at Roland for dropping a cup, which seemed so unlike her. Roland had stared at her with wide eyes and stated crying immediately. Of course she'd apologized only moments later, but Roland wasn't used to being yelled at, especially not from his mother.

On another day, she'd snapped at Robin for something that in his view wasn't even worth getting worked up about. Once again she had apologized and then kissed him deeply, as though showing him how sorry she was. Marian was under a lot of pressure, a lot of tension. They all were. So he knew she was trying, trying really hard to cope with their situation. He had to give her space and love.

She'd found a job at a bakery where she worked in the early hours of the morning and would be back when Robin would go to his job as a barkeeper in a small tavern... no, pub as they called it here, in the afternoon and evening. Roland always had one of his parents with him and was not alone. They all tried to make the best of their situation, they really did. Still, the longer Robin was with her, the longer he felt like she was different from the woman he'd once loved. He still loved her, but he loved her differently. It was hard to push yourself into the happy ending you once thought lost, especially when you lost another one in the process. He sighed. They all had changed while trying to accommodate to the difficult situation they were in.

Robin entered the apartment with a sigh. "I'm home," he called into the small space.

Two little feet came up running, crashing almost into his legs. "Papa!"

Robin smiled down at his little boy who'd adjusted just fine to the strange new world around him. He was fascinated with everything, especially with the box that showed moving pictures all times of the day and night. "Woah, careful little boy. Shouldn't you be long asleep?"

"He should," a voice in front of them said, seriously.

Robin looked up, gazing into Marian's warm eyes. She smiled at him and walked over to give him a kiss on the lips. "It's good to see you."

"You, too," he mumbled, returning the kiss softly.

"Ewwww!" Roland scolded before he turned around to walk to the sofa, which turned into his bed at night. He quickly put his blanket over his little head, hiding underneath it so he wouldn't have to see his parents kissing.

Robin and Marian watched their son with big grins, before they walked over to both press a kiss on his forehead and wish him a good night. Afterwards, they retired back to their small bedroom.

"Are you hungry?" Marian asked sweetly, "I made some apple pie earlier. I can go and fetch you a slice from the fridge."

His face darkened with regret, but only for a second. Apple pie was what Regina had made him for dessert on their second date. It almost topped her famous lasagna. Almost. They hadn't gotten to eat it for dessert, since they had a way nicer form of dessert in mind. Robin forced himself to smile at the memory. He would just have to live with the fact that sometimes things would remind him of Regina. It was not Marian's fault, how should she know about his memory with the apple pie they had eaten the morning after instead of toast? It had been almost as sweet as their night together. His smile grew wider when he remembered how good she had tasted after the pie, how he hadn't been able to stop kissing her.

"Robin?" Marian asked concerned.

"Yes. I mean no, thank you, I'm not really hungry. I'm very tired. There was a brawl at the pub. You must be very tired, too, my little early bird. You have to get up for your next shift in five hours."

Marian rolled her eyes. "Oh I know. You can have the cake for breakfast then."

He smiled while getting rid of his clothes. "I will. I bet it's delicious."

Her next move caught him in surprise. Marian was kissing him, her hands trailing over his bare torso, caressing his chest and muscled arms. Robin returned the kiss; surprised Marian acted so spontaneously. She moaned a little, deepening the kiss, her hands going down to his belt.

Over the past few weeks they had shared many kisses, some more heated than other ones, but this one... it was almost like Marian was ravishing his mouth, desperate for more. She opened his belt, sucking at his tongue. Robin smiled into the kiss, returning her every favor. His hands cupped her buttocks while his mouth sucked at her taste. She tasted delicious. Like apple pie with cinnamon. Apple pie. Regina. His body stiffened slightly. God, she was his wife for god's sake, why couldn't he... No. It felt wrong. He couldn't do it because as much as he loved her... this just didn't feel right.

Carefully, he put his hands on her hips while pulling back from the kiss. Instead, he left a trail of soft, warm pecks on her face.

"I really have to take a shower," he whispered into her ear, pressing one last kiss onto her forehead before he turned around and fled for the bathroom.

Xxxxx

Zelena watched the door close behind him. She wanted to crush something, to kill something. Little Roland in the room next door would do just fine right now. How long would it take for the idiot to finally give in and share the bed with her?! Not that she really wanted to sleep with him - he was attractive of course, but she only had one goal. Destroying Regina.

Oh what would be nicer than for her little sister to find out her oh-so-honorable-ex-boyfriend didn't sleep with his supposed-to-be-dead wife but actually her? Her face would be worth a million destroyed happy endings.

"Patience. You have him almost where you want. Just a little more patience," she told herself, annoyed there was no magic in this world which she could use to destroy something. Soon Robin would give in. She just had to wait, and before her little sister could see, she would have taken everything from her.

With a satisfied grin on her face she got rid of her clothing and went to bed. "No matter what, I _will_ destroy you, little sis."


End file.
